Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
