dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
