They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
