I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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