I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
