I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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