Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
