I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
