Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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