My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
