Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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