he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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