Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
