I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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