All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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