I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize