Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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