weddingsv make me drug and hornr
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
