So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
