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we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Drunk is a universal language darling
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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