i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
