Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
