at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
