i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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