I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
