Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
