after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
