I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
