i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
