apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
