walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
