Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
