well I can't set my house on fire every night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
