If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
