It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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