so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
