so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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