you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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