between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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