I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize