Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
