Swine flu. Run for my life!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
