so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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