Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
