when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
