i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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