just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
