we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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