She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
