You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
